Sri Sri Guru Gauranga Jayatah!
As the mas for Niyam seva was beginning, I thought about all the things extra and special things that visnavs do during this time. Thinking about it now and remembering how I thought of it when I was younger, has made me see how much my mind has changed in the years. As a child, Kartik was simply a time that came once a year, lasted for one month, and when my parents used to rush to the temple on Sundays in order to get there in time for singing the Damodarastakam. A picture of Damdodar was on the altar, everyone sat in the half-lit temple room closing their eyes and listening (in my case) to the sweet melodic tunes of the bengalis. And I remember thinking “wow” and not knowing any better word for it.
When we read the translation of baby Damodar's glories the only one that was always burned in my memory was the first verse where it explained that Yasoda Mai captured Krsna from behind to chastise Him and bind Him to the grinding mortar. I remember thinking "Doesn't Yasoda Mai kno that that is Krsna? Why is she chastising Him?" Now, being 12 years older, I realize that that was His blessing to her, and Kartik is a blessing to us. It is a time when he allows us to bind him with the ropes of our love. It is a time when any small amount of love given to our sweet baby Damodar is magnified hundreds and hundreds of times in His heart. It is the one chance that we get to attempt to understand how real premabhakti is achieved.
The one thing I regret is not having this knowledge AS a child. As a child, with a pure, simple and innocent heart it is easy to love Krsna and think about Him and His pastimes without even a second thought. Getting older means that the hectic chaos of this material world caves in on your head and its difficult to keep telling yourself that its not important. But because it is still in our mind that Krsna is of all importance, we try on special occasions such as this one to please Him as best as we can.
I remember always reading or hearing, that when love for Krsna is over-flowing in a true Premi's heart, their milk overflows. Examples being Yasoda Mai and all the cows being touched by Krsna, I have decided to bathe our Giriraj shila and Saligram shila that we call Damodar in milk everyday morning and bathe them once again in the evening. To have Krsna always near me, I will chant extra than my 16 rounds at every opportunity, and for the pleasure of my shilas will read Them their very own sweet and glorious pastimes from Ananda Vrndavan Champu written by Kavi Karnapur. But Niyam Seva doesn't end simply here. Throughout this month vaisnavs keep Krsna in their mind at all waking moments. They great ones can even keep Him in their dreams. Thought I myself am not great at all and very fallen and lowly, I will keep His glories in my heart and mind. With the mercy of all the vaisnavs He will become pleased with me.
With His gift of love to us and with YOUR blessings My desire will be fulfilled. Radharani has showed her most loving and merciful lotus eyes glance upon me and given me permission to reside within Her Dham. I simply wish that I may never take Braja Dham for granted, that I may never forget how lucky and blessed I am to be given Her mercy, and that I may never commit vaisnav aparad. I pray that She will take me there soon and never let me leave the embrace of the dust of Braj and the She give me a way to serve her in the smallest way by serving Her devotees. I pray that a path may be revealed to show my a way to Her moon-like toenail which resides on the chest of Shyam.
Begging for all mercy
And humbly yours in service to Sri Jiu,
Madhumayi Radha DD
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