A last prayer.

As Kartik comes to an end,a feeling of fulfillment, yet unhappiness overcomes me. My heart is desolate, my soul is saddened, and my mind is in despair. All I can think about is when I can be this close to my beloved again. I don't know what is it that makes me feel that only during the perfectly auspicious and wonderful month I am directly in His line of vision, that I'm physically being crushed by His empowering embrace, and that He is glancing upon me with His loving lotus eyes. Tears come to my eyes as my brain is envisioning Him being sidetracked now by the rest of the world, sinless and sinners alike, obliged to go back to His work as the maintainer. Even though I know that it is not so, my heart is enflamed with the unrealistic feeling of seperation. Selfish as I am, the only cure that seemed to work for me was having my loving Gopal in my home and therefore always giving me His love.

My prayers have intensified for these last few days that I have to ability to command my Shyam's attention by giving Him all that I am. I pray and I pray that He may take me to His last remaining remnants in this world. I long to embrace the tree He jumped from into Yamuna to punish Kaaliya, I long to kiss the cows given the shelter of dust from His soft pink flower petal feet, I long to roll in the grass that has experienced His Ras Lila pastimes where he lovingly caressed Radhe's face, yet teased the gopis and disappeared, causing them pain and anxiety. I pray to travel the path which He used to lead His cows to the grazing grounds and I wish to give my pranams to His childhood home in Nanda Gao.

My last prayer is that I wish not to fall back down the the few inches that I have crawled closer to my Madan Mohan. I have come a few centimeters closer to binding him with my rope....I have come a few centimeters closer to to the tips of His feet which is eternally bathed with the tears of His Devotees. Although there is a much longer path to travel, I simply wish not to trip and fall backwards down this golden staircase, but pray to continue on in the journey into Govinda's warm loving heart. Within renewed Determination I remember my prayer on the first day of kartik : that I amy never take the holy dham for granted and that I may never commit any offense while I reside there.

Although it is immensely disturbing that Kartik is coming to an end, like I said, I also feel relieved and fulfilled. Relieved because I actually made it through when I thought i could not, and fulfilled beecause I have given an inkling of myself to my Lord, just as every other devotee following a vrata during Kartik has. I cannot even beging to describe the wonderful feeling of complete bliss that my month-long regimen has given me. I can't say that it was all easy though. There were days when I was so tired and had to push my self out of bed a 4am, or when i worked late and had to stay up even later to finish my rounds and my reading. Days when I when I was just too "busy". But i've realized that it is not an excuse. How can one be "too busy" for the one that loves us, for the one that maintains us, and for the one which we live our lives. Its like saying we're too busy for family, for our sons, daughters, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends, whoever. We would never say that to them, how can we think that we are to busy for Krsna Himself.

My dearest Shyam has given me this wonderful realization [ He is our most important family member..yes FAMLIY] and thus has lit a burning flame of love in my heart which I hope will never diminish. However none of this would have been attainable without the strong loving support of my dear friends and co-authors of this blog. Because of their friendship and association I have been able to come this far.

I hope that you all were succesful in your vrats, and that this kartik was as amazing and inspiring for you as it was for me. I pray for your blessings that Krsna may always be in my mind and heart and wish the love and blessings of the great Acaryas, Srimati Radharani, and Damodar upon you always!

Jay Sri Sri Radha Damodar!!!!!

Beauty Divine

Below are some quotes from the TLC, particularly pertaining to Sri Krsna's beauty with pictures from paintings of Krishna.com's galleries, as well as "Murals of the Krsna Balaram Temple", photos by Gitapriya Dasi, courtesy of Bhakti Collective.

Enjoy!



"Lord Caitanya further explained that not only Krsnaloka but even Vrndavana, Lord Krsna's abode on this planet, cannot be estimated as far as potency is concerned. From one point of view, Vrndavana is estimated to be thirty-two square miles in area, yet in one part of this Vrndavana all the Vaikunthas exist. The area of the present Vrndavana miles in area, and Vrndavana City is estimated to be about sixteen krosas, or thirty-two miles. How it is all the Vaikunthas exist there is beyond material calculation. Thus Caitanya Mahaprabhu proclaimed the potencies and opulences of Krsna to be unlimited. Whatever He told Sanatana Gosvami was only partial, but by such a partial presentation one can try to imagine the whole."

"Krsna is so wonderful and attractive that He Himself becomes attracted by His own beauty, and this is proof that He is full of all inconceivable potencies. As far as Krsna's ornaments are concerned, when they decorate His body it appears that they do not beautify Him, but the ornaments themselves become beautiful simply by being on His body. When He stands in a three-curved way, He attracts all living entities, including the demigods. Indeed, He even attracts the Narayana form which presides in each and every Vaikuntha planet."

"Krsna is known as Madana-mohana because He conquers the mind of Cupid. He is also known as Madana-mohana due to His accepting the devotional service of the damsels of Vraja and rendering favors unto them. After conquering Cupid's pride, the Lord engages in the rasa dance as the new Cupid. He is also known as Madana-mohana because of His ability to conquer the minds of women with His five arrows called form, taste, smell, sound and touch. The pearls of the necklace which hangs about the neck of Krsna are as white as ducks, and the peacock feather which decorates His head is colored like a rainbow. His yellow garment is like lightning in the sky, and Krsna Himself is like the newly arrived clouds. The gopis are like footbells on His feet, and when the cloud pours rain on the grains in the field, it appears that Krsna is nourishing the hearts of the gopis by calling down His pastime rain of mercy. Indeed, ducks fly in the sky during the rainy season, and rainbows can also be seen at that time. Krsna freely moves amongst His friends as a cowherd boy in Vrndavana, and when He plays His flute, all living creatures, mobile and immobile, become overwhelmed with ecstasy. They quiver, and tears flow from their eyes. Of Krsna's various opulences, His conjugal love is the summit. He is the master of all riches, all strength, all fame, all beauty, all knowledge and all renunciation, and out of these, His perfect beauty is His conjugal attraction. The form of Krsna, the conjugal beauty, is eternally existent in Krsna alone, whereas His other opulences are present in His Narayana form."

"The body of Krsna, the ocean of the eternal beauty of youth, can be seen to move in waves of beauty. There is a whirlwind at the sound of His flute, and those waves and that whirlwind make the hearts of the gopis flutter like dry leaves on trees, and when those leaves fall down at Krsna's lotus feet, they can never rise up again. There is no beauty to compare with Krsna's, for no one possesses beauty greater than or equal to His."

"The Vedic hymn known as kama-gayatri describes the face of Krsna as the king of all moons. In metaphorical language, there are many different moons, but they are all one in Krsna. There is the moon of His mouth, the moon of His cheeks, the moonspots of sandalwood pulp on His body, the moons of the fingertips of His hands and the moons of the tips of His toes. In this way there are twenty-four and a half moons, and Krsna is the central figure of all of them."

"The devotee increasingly feels the absence of Krsna, for without Him one cannot drink the nectar of His beauty. When the transcendental sound of Krsna's flute is heard, the devotee's anxiety to continue to hear that flute enables him to penetrate the covering of the material world and enter into the spiritual sky, where the transcendental sound of the flute enters into the ears of the followers of the gopis. The sound of Krsna's flute always resides within the ears of the gopis and increases their ecstasy. When it is heard, no other sound can enter into their ears, and amongst their family they are not able to reply to questions properly, for all these beautiful sounds are vibrating in their ears."

Confessions of a Weak Chanter

To me, chanting is like the churning of the milk ocean. It brings up so many things from within the heart: desires, hopes, impurities, and sometimes little realizations, like tiny diamonds glinting in the darkness, shooting out rays of a spectrum of multifarious colors.

Every time I sit down to chant, it’s a battle within: the heart that knows its the right thing to do, versus the overly-distracted mind.

* Dusta mana, tumi kisher Vaisnava? *

I admit I’ve got no taste for the Holy Name whatsoever.

“When your chanting is so bad, why chant at all? What’s the point of doing it simply to create aparadhas? If you chant, do it well. Or else, just STOP! There’s no point in it anymore...” my mind says.

What a feeble excuse!

Later, I realized, there's always a reason to chant. However concentrated (or not) our japa may be. Whatever level one are at, one must try!

Srila Prabhupada once said something along the lines of, “we all must try; and if we can’t try, then try to try. If we can’t try to try, then try to try to try...”
The quote goes on. Wherever we are, we must always strive to keep moving forward. Perseverance is the key. As long as we avoid stagnation, laziness, inattention, and hopelessness, we are guaranteed to get to the perfect level eventually. Slow and steady. Never stop chanting. It’s the worst thing that can happen. Once you stop, it’s difficult to get back on track again.

Chanting Japa is serious. Kirtan, on the other hand, is always blissful (and therefore safe from aparadhas) to one and all from the neophyte to the most advanced devotee. Japa is an individual attempt to connect with the Lord, whereas in Kirtan, energy, enthusiasm, and inspiration is shared. We depend on each other. One participant's enthusiasm can easily rub off on to many. Yet, Japa is essential. The better the japa, the better the Kirtan, right? Japa gives one spiritual strength.

Japa is direct, personal association with the Supreme Lord. Can I not spare a few hours of my day to sit in the association with my dear-most Friend?! And what a sweet Friend He is! I often neglect Him, but He never neglects me. I detest conversations where the listener doesn’t listen; simply nodding a head, or murmuring “hmm...” when it’s obvious the mind is elsewhere. Dreadful inattention gives one all the more reason to chant: to improve it! Inattention is the root cause of the other ten offenses to the Holy Name, says Thakur Bhaktivinod.

Some devotees say, “Just do it! It’s like brushing your teeth: you don’t think twice about it. Just do it. It becomes daily routine.”

This simplicity struck me!

I have never been able to discover that unlimited ocean of nectar from japa. Maya in my mind questions why I put my faith in something that has never been proven directly to me, and whether I will spend my entire life pursuing this seemingly elusive goal so far off.

YES. I will continue to strive, to reach for the stars.

** Tomara doyaya asambhava sambhava hoy re! **

Even in my own circle, I've seen devotees who relish this nectar with such zeal and gusto; its inspiring. I have not experienced it, nevertheless I do believe.

Simply put, I trust in our stalwart, prodigious Acaryas and Gaudiya Vaisnava saints.

If I cannot find it in me to chant out of pure love and ecstasy,
then let me at least chant out of righteousness.



"TUNDE TANDAVINI RATIM VITANUTE TUNDAVALI-LABDHAYE
KARNA-KRODA-KADAMBINI GHATAYATE KARNARBUDEBHYAH SPRHAM
CETAH-PRANGANA-SANGINI VIJAYATE SARVENDRIYANAM KRTIM
NO JANE JANITA KIYADBHIR AMRTAIH KRSNETI VARNA-DVAYI"

“I do not know how much nectar the two syllables ‘Krsna’ have produced. When the holy name of Krsna is chanted, it appears to dance within the mouth. We then desire many, many mouths. When that name enters the holes of the ears, we desire many millions of ears. And when the holy name dances in the courtyard of the heart, it conquers the activities of the mind, and therefore all the senses become inert.”

-Srila Rupa Goswami

---

* Dusta mana, tumi kisher Vaisnava?
"O wicked mind! What kind of Vaisnava do you think you are?"
Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, the Simha Guru, and also the spiritual master of Srila Prabhupada wrote in all humility 'Vaisnava Ke' comprising of nineteen verses chastising and preaching to the mind. Read it here.


** Tomara doyaya asambhava sambhava hoy re!
"By your compassion the impossible becomes possible."
An excerpt taken from 'Srila Prabhupada Vandana', a prayerful song composed in Bengali by His Holiness Jayapataka Swami.

Bhisma Pancaka

Fasting
================
The fasting starts on Ekadasi Day will continue until Rasa purnima Day. The fasting is broken at sunset (or at moon rise) on Rasa Purnima day. Generally it is recommended to do full fast on Ekadasi and
then the following four days fruits and roots fasting. Or one can do five day fruits and roots fasting.

Levels of fasting:
-----------------

Devotees can choose whichever level of fasting as is convenient to them. It
should not disturb their normal devotional service(s) and daily sadhana.

Level 1:
One can consume products of the cow (pancha-gavya) each for each day:
First day: Cow dung (Gomaya)
Second day: Cow urine (Go-muutra)
Third day: Cow milk (Kshiira)
Fourth day: Cow yoghurt (Dadhi)
Fifth day: All products of the ccow mixed (Pancha-gavya)

Level 2
If one can't follow level 1, one can take fruits and roots
fruits with many seeds should be avoided like guava, pomegranate, papaya,
cucumber etc. Boiled potatoes, raw banana and sweet potato can be taken. We
can use sea salt for taste. Cashewnuts, raisins, dates can be taken. We
shouldn't take milk and milk products in this level of fasting.

Level 3:
If one can't follow level 2, one can take "Havishya."

References: Padma Puraana, Brahma-khanda, Chapter 23; Skanda Puraana, Vishnu
Khanda, Kaartika Maahaatmya section, Chapter 32; Garuda Puraana, Puurva
Khanda, Chapter 123.

Ingredients for Havishya as mentioned in Sri Hari-bhakti-vilasa (13.10-13)
-----------------

The following are ingredients that can be used in making Havishya, which is
like a khichari made with these items.

* Aatap rice
* Ghee from cow
* 'Saindhava' salt (from the mountains, like Himalayas. Salt from the ocean is contaminated)
* Milk from cow
* Milk with cream
* Ripe banana
* Kaala-shaaka
* Wheat
* Fruits (Skanda Puraana, Naagara Khanda says they must be with a small seed
or with few seeds only)
* Mango
* Jackfruit
* Labali fruit
* Roots except 'keaa' (a type of grass or root)
* Pippalii
* Haritakii
* Naagaranga
* Ikshu-dravya or sugarcane derivatives (other than gur or mollasses)
* No oil

The following ingredients are normally part of Havishya but have to be
avoided in the month of Kaartika:

* Mung dal
* Til oil
* Beta-shaaka
* Shashtikaa-shaaka
* Radish
* Jeeraa
* Tamarind

Prayers
================

One should take bath in Ganges or a holy river every day and should offer
tarpana 3 times for Bhismadeva by saying the following mantra:

Tarpana

om vaiyaghra padya gotraya
samkrti pravaraya ca
aputraya dadamyetat
salilam bhismavarmane

Arghya

vasunamavataraya
santanoratmajaya ca
arghyam dadami bhismaya
ajanma brahmacarine

Pranam

om bhismah santanavo birah
satyavadi jitendriyah
abhiradbhiravapnatu
putrapautrocitam kriyam


Offerings to the Lord:
================

Devotees may offer the following flowers to the Deity:

On the first day, one must offer padma (lotus) flowers to the feet of the
Lord
On the second day, one must offer bilva (wood-apple) leaves of the thigh of
the Lord
On the third day, one must offer gandha (scents) to the navel of the Lord
On the fourth day, one must offer java flower to the shoulders of the Lord
On the fifth day, one must offer malati flower to the head (siro-desa) of
the Lord

When there is a overlap of days then the flowers for both days can be
offered in the same day.

Reference: Garuda Puraana (op cit.)