Beginning Kartik with a Realization

Jai Sri Sri Radha Damodar Jiu!

All glories to this most auspicious month of Kartik!

An unexplainable feeling entered into my heart as kartik came around once again. All the tensions and struggles that we live through in this material world during the rest of the year seemed to slip away as soon as I woke up on the morning of this extremely auspicious month. The emotions that overcame me as I woke up before sunrise was something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. After bathing Giri with milk and completing puja I sat in front of Him inhaling the beautiful scent of incense smoke and watching the ghee lamp flicker melodiously in front of His face while it lit up His smile and I wondered to myself, "why is it that only during this particular month do we feel so inclined to go the extra mile in our spiritual path?"Why is it that we are not able to do the special things we do this month all the time. We have the same schedule which revolves around work, school, housework, social events, etc etc. In a previous blog I quoted the first verse of the Damodarastakam where is states that Krsna finally allowed Himself to be caught and bound by Yasoda Mai. I therefore concluded that it is only during this month that Krsna is extremely happy and allows us to catch Him easily and Give to Him whatever love we posses.

However, a question that one may ask is, how do we even develop the desire to catch Krsna? When and how do we enter into that stage in which we feel we can be or do nothing without him? For a while I remember getting so distracted by the the people, places, and things that surrounded me. I felt that I was losing the taste and desire I had for serving the Lord. Worshiping and chanting was just a part of my morning routine. Where had my enthusiasm gone?

Just this morning I was reading the third verse in Srila Rupa Goswami's Upadesamrta (Nectar of Instruction) :

utsahan niscaya dhairyat

tat-tat-karma-pravartanat

sanga-tyagat sato vrtteh

sadbhir bhaktih prasidhyati

There are 6 principles favorable to the execution of the pure devototional service: 1) being enthusiastic, 2) endeavoring with confidence, 3) being patient, 4) acting according to regulative principles [sravanam kirtanam visnoh smaranam...] 5) abandoning the association of non devotees, and 6) following in the footsteps of the previous acaryas. These 6 principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.

Further in the purport it explained that out of these 6 the most important is the first one: enthusiasm. We cannot succeed completely in devotional service without it and that seemed to be the very thing I felt I was lacking. So what then should I do? Lucky me, I was in Mayapur during this time, in a place where not only is there devotees everywhere but in the air and atmosphere itself. If one tried to forget Krsna still one could not. If one ran from Krsna still one would see him everywhere. I stood before the deities many a time and asked Krsna "What is happening to me? Why am I simply stumbling along the path towards you when previously I felt I was going at a steady trot? Krsna! Please return to me the taste of Krsna Prem and let it fill my heart."

It is now that I realize, not only does Krsna allow you to catch Him when you so desire to, but He will also bless you with that very same desire to catch Him. If you are ready and if you are not, He will provide the time, situation, and circumstance in which you will have no choice but to turn to him and place your entire existence at His wonderful lotus feet.

In the most wonderful way, my thoughts on this matter were confirmed. I happened to pop in to watch Mayapur's live telecast and caught the last tiny snippet of Bhaktividyapurna Maharaj's Bhagavatam class. He was saying that even though Druva Maharaj did not go into the forest to undergo penance for spirtual reasons, but to obtain a kingdom far greater than his father's, in the end He still got this wonderful taste of Krsna Prem.

Krsna created the situation for which Druva Maharaj would HAVE to go to Him and Druva Maharaj acquired the desire to serve the Lord even though initially he performed tapasya for material reasons , which is why most of us go to God in the first place. Krsna was so merciful that He appeared before Druva Maharaj and at once Druva Maharaj understood his constitutional position.

In my case, my situation is that I so strongly desire to return to the birthplace of my Lordship, my Giri. And for this I pray to Sri Damodar Jiu, allow me to return, allow me to serve you there. Although is is said that a true devotee will ask Krsna for nothing but to simply serve him wherever and in whichever way pleases Him, I am still quite fallen and pray only to return to the safety of the holy dham so that I will not stray from the path of Krsna Bhakti.

I pray to Him and I pray to his wonderful devotees [you] to please give me your blessings so that I may advance in the path of Krsna Consciousness.

Vancha Kalpatarubhyas ca

kripa sindhubhya eva ca

patitanam pavanebhyo

vaisnavaibhyo namoh namah