Beginning Kartik with a Realization

Jai Sri Sri Radha Damodar Jiu!

All glories to this most auspicious month of Kartik!

An unexplainable feeling entered into my heart as kartik came around once again. All the tensions and struggles that we live through in this material world during the rest of the year seemed to slip away as soon as I woke up on the morning of this extremely auspicious month. The emotions that overcame me as I woke up before sunrise was something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. After bathing Giri with milk and completing puja I sat in front of Him inhaling the beautiful scent of incense smoke and watching the ghee lamp flicker melodiously in front of His face while it lit up His smile and I wondered to myself, "why is it that only during this particular month do we feel so inclined to go the extra mile in our spiritual path?"Why is it that we are not able to do the special things we do this month all the time. We have the same schedule which revolves around work, school, housework, social events, etc etc. In a previous blog I quoted the first verse of the Damodarastakam where is states that Krsna finally allowed Himself to be caught and bound by Yasoda Mai. I therefore concluded that it is only during this month that Krsna is extremely happy and allows us to catch Him easily and Give to Him whatever love we posses.

However, a question that one may ask is, how do we even develop the desire to catch Krsna? When and how do we enter into that stage in which we feel we can be or do nothing without him? For a while I remember getting so distracted by the the people, places, and things that surrounded me. I felt that I was losing the taste and desire I had for serving the Lord. Worshiping and chanting was just a part of my morning routine. Where had my enthusiasm gone?

Just this morning I was reading the third verse in Srila Rupa Goswami's Upadesamrta (Nectar of Instruction) :

utsahan niscaya dhairyat

tat-tat-karma-pravartanat

sanga-tyagat sato vrtteh

sadbhir bhaktih prasidhyati

There are 6 principles favorable to the execution of the pure devototional service: 1) being enthusiastic, 2) endeavoring with confidence, 3) being patient, 4) acting according to regulative principles [sravanam kirtanam visnoh smaranam...] 5) abandoning the association of non devotees, and 6) following in the footsteps of the previous acaryas. These 6 principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.

Further in the purport it explained that out of these 6 the most important is the first one: enthusiasm. We cannot succeed completely in devotional service without it and that seemed to be the very thing I felt I was lacking. So what then should I do? Lucky me, I was in Mayapur during this time, in a place where not only is there devotees everywhere but in the air and atmosphere itself. If one tried to forget Krsna still one could not. If one ran from Krsna still one would see him everywhere. I stood before the deities many a time and asked Krsna "What is happening to me? Why am I simply stumbling along the path towards you when previously I felt I was going at a steady trot? Krsna! Please return to me the taste of Krsna Prem and let it fill my heart."

It is now that I realize, not only does Krsna allow you to catch Him when you so desire to, but He will also bless you with that very same desire to catch Him. If you are ready and if you are not, He will provide the time, situation, and circumstance in which you will have no choice but to turn to him and place your entire existence at His wonderful lotus feet.

In the most wonderful way, my thoughts on this matter were confirmed. I happened to pop in to watch Mayapur's live telecast and caught the last tiny snippet of Bhaktividyapurna Maharaj's Bhagavatam class. He was saying that even though Druva Maharaj did not go into the forest to undergo penance for spirtual reasons, but to obtain a kingdom far greater than his father's, in the end He still got this wonderful taste of Krsna Prem.

Krsna created the situation for which Druva Maharaj would HAVE to go to Him and Druva Maharaj acquired the desire to serve the Lord even though initially he performed tapasya for material reasons , which is why most of us go to God in the first place. Krsna was so merciful that He appeared before Druva Maharaj and at once Druva Maharaj understood his constitutional position.

In my case, my situation is that I so strongly desire to return to the birthplace of my Lordship, my Giri. And for this I pray to Sri Damodar Jiu, allow me to return, allow me to serve you there. Although is is said that a true devotee will ask Krsna for nothing but to simply serve him wherever and in whichever way pleases Him, I am still quite fallen and pray only to return to the safety of the holy dham so that I will not stray from the path of Krsna Bhakti.

I pray to Him and I pray to his wonderful devotees [you] to please give me your blessings so that I may advance in the path of Krsna Consciousness.

Vancha Kalpatarubhyas ca

kripa sindhubhya eva ca

patitanam pavanebhyo

vaisnavaibhyo namoh namah

Exta

Time sweeps each of us off our feet in different directions; pushed into newer depths of self-realization. A few months ago we initiated this blog to keep track of our Kartik vratas. 'Kartik Diaries' seemed an appropriate title.

But as quickly as it dawned, the sacred month passed us. We came to realize that Kartik meant more to us than just a month of penetance and extra perseverance. Really, the entire year is in preparation of the next Kartik.

Why?

Because it makes us feel directly in line with the Lord. Every thought and seems magnified. Some feel as if they take leaps and bounds in that special month most dear to Srimati Radharani. The atmosphere feels surcharged with a beautiful hope, and potential energy; potential for spiritual advancement.
Our unified goal is to progress to newer levels with every passing day; to be pure in heart; and ultimately, to be able to please the Divine Couple more, and serve Them whenever and wherever we may be.

Now, in the Spring of 2010, I look back on last Autumn with fond memories. So much has changed. And yet, that same desire remains; a desire to shine and excel in my devotional service. In some ways, I have matured, and in some, I have slipped, but the experiences remain vivid in my heart. It's so easy to get absorbed in mundane work, and put aside the important tasks!

With a jolt, I realize that today* is is the most revered Purusottama Adhika Mas! (*check your local Vaisnava calendar for exact dates.) It is considered especially dear to the Lord, and even more potent that Kartik. It is an extra month of the lunar calendar.

For us, it means an extra opportunity for extra service, for extra spiritual progress!

With a most trying, rigorous schedule, I do not know what I can offer to the Lord in this most sacred month. Yet, I feel I cannot pass this an opportunity like this! At the same time, I realize the seriousness of a vrata. It must not be broken.

If there's one thing I've learnt from ISKCON, its that you shouldn't let important opportunities slip, because they often won't come back and you'll regret your choice forever!

I conclude, simply pledging my surrender unto the Mistress and Master of my heart. I am unfit to offer anything more. I simply beg to remain Their servant, forever more. I am most grateful for their truly unconditional mercy, though I feel most undeserving. Let me simply try my best to serve Them better, for my happiness is in Their pleasure.

Sri Sri Radha Madhava Ki Jay!


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devi duhkha-kula-sagarodare duyamanam ati-durgatam janam
tvam kripa-prabala-naukayadbhutam prapaya sva-pada-pankajalayam

O queen, please rescue this unfortunate person drowning in an ocean of pain. Place him on the strong boat of Your mercy and carry him to the wonderful realm of Your lotus feet.

tavaivasmi tavaivasmi na jivami tvaya vina
iti vijnaya devi tvam naya mama caranantikam

I am Yours! I am Yours! I cannot live without You! O Devi Radha, please understand this and bring me to Your lotus feet.

asha-bharair amrita-sindhu-mayaih kathancit kalo mayati-gamitah kila sampratam hi
tvam cet kripam mayi vidhasyasi naiva kim me pranair vrajena ca varoru bakarinapi

For me somehow the present moment is flooded by a nectar ocean of many hopes. If You do not give Your mercy, then of what use to me are this life, the land of Vraja, and Shri Krishna, the enemy of Baka?

--
(Srila Raghunatha Das Goswami)